Dispatches From Whitcomb Street

Please destroy after reading

stuffed mustache

Who doesn’t need a moustache for every occasion?

When I saw this Alexander Henry fabric, “Where’s My ‘Stache?”, down at Mama Said Sew, I had to laugh. I didn’t really do the mustache thing the first (100th?) time around, but these here are some handsome mustaches indeed. They’re nicely rendered with line or solid black silhouette, and they’re exactly the right scale to look cartoonishly perfect under a nose.

To make your own stuffed mustache, cut a favorite mustache out of the fabric, leaving at least a 1/4” margin all around.

On the wrong side, draw a 1/8” line all around it with a pencil, echoing the shape but rounding off enclosed bits and areas that would be difficult to sew and turn. Mark a starting and stopping point with at least 3/4” in between on a more or less straight area. Cut a scrap of muslin as large as the shape.

Set your stitch length very short—.5-1 mm—and sew all around your shape on the marked line, leaving an opening between the marks. Backstitch at the beginning and ending points.

It’s difficult to sew something so tiny and so full of curves accurately. The short stitch length will help, as will using a straight-stitch foot and/or throat plate. Go slow, and think of each curve as the arc of a circle. Put your finger down to anchor the fabric at the midpoint of that imaginary circle and pivot around the anchor. 

Trim the seam allowance to 1/8” all around, and clip any sharp corners.

Turn the mustache through the opening and make sure to open out all the little areas nicely.

Stuff, packing the stuffing tightly and filling in every area firmly.

Slip stitch the opening closed.

Mustache!

If you want to put a piece of elastic on it, put a 16” length of elastic thread in a tapestry needle and pass it through the back of the ‘stache, just in the center. Knot the thread and pop the knotted area through to the interior of the mustache. 

Or put it on a stick!

Of course, you can draw your own mustaches with a fabric pen. But if, like me, your desire to be silly is only slightly stronger than your desire to be lazy, this fabric is totally the way to go. 5/8 of a yard will get you a full repeat, with at least one of every delightful mustache—enough for all your friends and enemies. 

Other ideas: affix a little velcro to the back of each mustache; put sticky velcro on a photo of your favorite (or least favorite) person. Put a mustache on the handlebars of your bike. Give some facial hair to the glowing apple on the lid of a random MacBook at the coffee shop. Make sure that whatever you do is ironic*, because stuffed mustaches, what?

*but seriously stuffed mustaches are awesome. 

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